Are you like me and making choices about your life by following the "American Dream". There is nothing particularly wrong with the American Dream. However, it may lead you astray to following a blueprint that isn't really yours. Freedom to pursue Happiness is the best way to reframe the American Dream. Misery is easy, but creating a life of of inner peace and joy means being INTENTIONAL.
How do you find your blueprint? Begin to notice what stirs your heart... what words, pictures and stories? Who do you look up to and what do you admire about them? What are your dreams and desires? Try to filter out what your culture says is the way to go. It may be a good design and parts of it may fit...but it's not necessarily your design.
Discovering your heart's desires are key in living a fulfilling life. Why else would God talk about giving us the desire's of our heart. "Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4.
Many Christians have given up on their heart's desires thinking they are somehow wrong or selfish. Desires are tricky because they take time and work and they don't always come to fruition in the time or way we would like. The key in this verse is discovering that one of our heart's desires is to "Delight in the Lord", we were designed for an intimate relationship with God. All our other desires that get temporarily thwarted lead us to this deeper desire that is covered up by our sinful nature.
One of my favorite movies is "GroundHog Day" with Bill Murray. In this movie, a cynical weatherman gets stuck in the same day over and over again on his most dreaded assignment, "GroundHog Day" in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. He has to be around all these people he finds beneath him in a small town where he prefers the big city. The only highlight is his producer, Rita, played by Andie MacDowell who is a real beauty but without guile.
When he discovers he is replaying the same day over and over again, his transformation begins! First, he goes straight into pleasure seeking, women, drinking, even stealing from an armoured truck. He falls into despair when he realizes he is stuck. He tries inventive ways to kill himself. But wakes up in the same day the next day. He tries seducing his producer, Rita, by recreating her perfect day, which he takes weeks/months? to perfect, when he finally gets to the kiss again he rushes it and she refuses him. He thinks perhaps if he steals the groundhog and drives off a cliff, just maybe that will end this day, but to no avail.
Eventually he realizes this day is his life and he chooses to make it significant. He learns to play the piano, he becomes a Doctor, he gets to know and care for all the townspeople. When he becomes a person that the town admires, he tells his producer the truth and she stays up all night with him to help him overcome the timeloop he is in. He has learned living an interior life of love and purpose and this is when his next day begins....
I love this story because if you think about it, all of us live the same day over and over again. How do we create meaning in our status quo? Meaning and purpose are so key to an adventurous life! Don't just settle for eat, work, sleep, escapism and do it all over again. There's more out there for you. Adventure, romance, beauty, fun....but with it comes heartache and suffering. Every good story has both. Finding the life your were meant to live means changing thought patterns that keep us stuck. Learn to value your life and others. Change your interior life and you will change your outer life. Discover the inner beliefs that keep you down and find a better life philosophy. Start Today!
Saturday, July 27, 2013
Sunday, January 29, 2012
New Year's Resolutions
January is almost over! How are your New Year's Resolution's going? Many people start out with good intentions and then lose steam as the month progresses. Thei wonderful goals they set to change unhealthy habits and to live a more meaningful life begin to fizzle and they give up and go back to the status quo. Life is meant to be an adventure, not just going through the motions. I love the movie, "GroundHog Day" with Bill Murray. In this movie, he is reliving one of his most dreaded days as a weatherman, having to cover GroundHog Day in Punxsutawney, Pennslyvania. The day doesn't end until he learns to embrace life and love. At first he escapes into hedonism and then falls into a deep depression, then he decides to make the most of the day he is living in. He becomes well-read, learns to play the piano, he does good deeds, he is loved by everyone in the town and eventually he wins the heart of a kind and decent woman. It is when he learns self-sacrifical love that the day is over and a new day starts.
Every day is another opportunity to live the life we desire. There is a saying "misery will find you, but you must find happiness." We need to be intentional about our lives or we will end up living the same day over and over again. It takes 30 days to change a habit, which means we need to consistently do the new behavior for it to take hold. Habits get established in our sub-conscious so that we don't have to think about them, instead we just do them. This can be good or bad. If I have a bad habit of eating too much junk food, I will gain weight and risk health problems. If I have a habit of eating a balanced diet and not overeating, I will be arrive at the right weight and will keep away health problems.
Typically bad habits are formed as a coping mechanism to deal with life's stressors. We find substitute comfort in our "little addictions" which can grow if we give in to them. Too much TV, video games, alcohol, food, shopping, work, etc. The comfort we sought now is causing more problems rather than relieving our stress. Be intentional about your life, pursue happiness, go after your heart's desires. The key is to do it one day at a time. Set a goal, and take small steps daily to acheive it. If you do this consistently, before you know it you will have changed a bad habit into a life-giving habit. If you have a bad day, just start over the next! If you have life stressors that are bringing you down, seek out help and support, so that they don't sabatoge you from pursuing a meaningful life.
Every day is another opportunity to live the life we desire. There is a saying "misery will find you, but you must find happiness." We need to be intentional about our lives or we will end up living the same day over and over again. It takes 30 days to change a habit, which means we need to consistently do the new behavior for it to take hold. Habits get established in our sub-conscious so that we don't have to think about them, instead we just do them. This can be good or bad. If I have a bad habit of eating too much junk food, I will gain weight and risk health problems. If I have a habit of eating a balanced diet and not overeating, I will be arrive at the right weight and will keep away health problems.
Typically bad habits are formed as a coping mechanism to deal with life's stressors. We find substitute comfort in our "little addictions" which can grow if we give in to them. Too much TV, video games, alcohol, food, shopping, work, etc. The comfort we sought now is causing more problems rather than relieving our stress. Be intentional about your life, pursue happiness, go after your heart's desires. The key is to do it one day at a time. Set a goal, and take small steps daily to acheive it. If you do this consistently, before you know it you will have changed a bad habit into a life-giving habit. If you have a bad day, just start over the next! If you have life stressors that are bringing you down, seek out help and support, so that they don't sabatoge you from pursuing a meaningful life.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
The Four Streams of Healing
As a follower of Christ and as a Therapist; I am always asking the question, "How does God bring transformation to me and others?" Why are so many in the Christian Community not overcoming hardships and developing character in their lives?
John Eldredge has layed out in his ministry Four Streams that God uses in our lives that bring about healing and character change. In order to experience transformation, we need to be developing all four streams. The stream of Walking with God, hearing his voice, developing wisdom in our daily lives, being about the work of his Kingdom. The stream of Spiritual Warfare. God has an enemy and we have an enemy, Satan, the prince of this world, who is bent on stealing, killing and destroying anything that is good, holy and lifegiving. The stream of Counseling in which God brings truth to our inmost parts where lies and false beliefs have formed. The stream of Deep Restoration, where God goes into wounded places inside and brings his healing power to set us free.
I want to focus on one stream at a time, so this blog will focus on the stream of "Walking With God. Walking with God is a daily practise of getting quiet and hearing his voice. What gets in the way of hearing his voice, is our "false self" voice, the part of us that poses so people will accept us and love us. Also, the enemy can suggest to us a distorted interpretation of scriptures- think of legalism, phariseeism and Jesus being tempted in the desert. The enemy can also tempt us with the pleasures and worries of day to day life. Well-meaning friends and spiritual leaders can give us good advice but not necessarily what God is speaking to us (think of Job's friends).
Discerning God's voice from all other voices is no easy task. We must be aware of these other voices and be aware that God thinks so differently than we do. I always think of how God gave the Isrealites the Sabbath and then Jesus comes and brings truth to what God really meant by the Sabbath, not what the religious leaders had turned it into. Of course, we need to always check out what we are hearing and make sure it does not go against the written word of God. This is tricky, because sometimes how the Bible has been interpreted is not really what the scriptures are saying.
An example of this is the "name it and claim it" gospel. Jesus did say "whatever you ask for in prayer you shall have", but what did he really mean by this? Fortunately, we have the entire Bible to understand what Jesus meant and even Jesus' own words....."it is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God". So an important part of hearing from God is knowing his character; He is love, justice, mercy, grace, and truth. He is all-knowing and powerful; He is the Great I AM. We are trying to have Kingdom thinking, which is a totally different mindset than what most of us were raised in depending on the family and societal influences we had.
The hardest part for me in hearing God's voice is slowing my busyness down in order to tune into the Holy Spirit which resides in my spirit. I am definetly a Martha who longs to be a Mary! Currently, I am trying to meditate on God's word, rather than do a Bible Study or just read the scriptures. I am going through the Gospel of Mark, because normally I would gravitate towards the Gospel of John. I am reading one chapter at a time. As I am reading, I am asking God to highlight the passage He wants me to focus on. Then after I know the context of the passage; I meditate on it, reading it over and over, leaving time and space for God to teach me what the passage means and how it applies to my life in the present time. Then, throughout the day, I ask God to help me walk in the truth of what He has just revealed to me. Often, this mean confronting false beliefs that I hold that interfere with God's Kingdom mentality.
I will give you an example of this from one of the passages I have read lately. Mark 4: 39-41 This is a passage about the story of Jesus asleep in the boat with his disciples while a killer storm is raging.
" The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”
What I was struck with in this is "what is my default position when a storm hits?" The disciples default was "God, don't you care about us....." Jesus challenges this thinking, what you believe about God determines how you will handle this storm.
This is key because we all have and will continue to experience the storms of life! Being a Christian does not mean God eliminates the storms. Instead, He uses the storms to teach us about Him, about ourselves and about how to be overcomers on Planet Earth. How do I view the storms God allows in my life? What is God trying to teach me? What is he needing to transform in me? What do I believe about God in this storm? My default is "I am on my own".
Of course, God wants me to grow and mature, he doesn't do it all for me, but I am definetly not on my own. He can be my Rock and Refuge, my Deliverer, my Knight in Shining Armour. Do I really believe I am His Beloved? This is one of the ways God is transforming me, by changing on a deep level my faulty belief system! The more I understand the truth about Him and his view towards me and others, the more I can weather the storms in my life! Not only weather them, but be an overcomer, not on my own but by my faith in God and His deep love for me. He is a Good Father, and He is after my healing and teaching me how to live life abundantly.
John Eldredge has layed out in his ministry Four Streams that God uses in our lives that bring about healing and character change. In order to experience transformation, we need to be developing all four streams. The stream of Walking with God, hearing his voice, developing wisdom in our daily lives, being about the work of his Kingdom. The stream of Spiritual Warfare. God has an enemy and we have an enemy, Satan, the prince of this world, who is bent on stealing, killing and destroying anything that is good, holy and lifegiving. The stream of Counseling in which God brings truth to our inmost parts where lies and false beliefs have formed. The stream of Deep Restoration, where God goes into wounded places inside and brings his healing power to set us free.
I want to focus on one stream at a time, so this blog will focus on the stream of "Walking With God. Walking with God is a daily practise of getting quiet and hearing his voice. What gets in the way of hearing his voice, is our "false self" voice, the part of us that poses so people will accept us and love us. Also, the enemy can suggest to us a distorted interpretation of scriptures- think of legalism, phariseeism and Jesus being tempted in the desert. The enemy can also tempt us with the pleasures and worries of day to day life. Well-meaning friends and spiritual leaders can give us good advice but not necessarily what God is speaking to us (think of Job's friends).
Discerning God's voice from all other voices is no easy task. We must be aware of these other voices and be aware that God thinks so differently than we do. I always think of how God gave the Isrealites the Sabbath and then Jesus comes and brings truth to what God really meant by the Sabbath, not what the religious leaders had turned it into. Of course, we need to always check out what we are hearing and make sure it does not go against the written word of God. This is tricky, because sometimes how the Bible has been interpreted is not really what the scriptures are saying.
An example of this is the "name it and claim it" gospel. Jesus did say "whatever you ask for in prayer you shall have", but what did he really mean by this? Fortunately, we have the entire Bible to understand what Jesus meant and even Jesus' own words....."it is harder for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God". So an important part of hearing from God is knowing his character; He is love, justice, mercy, grace, and truth. He is all-knowing and powerful; He is the Great I AM. We are trying to have Kingdom thinking, which is a totally different mindset than what most of us were raised in depending on the family and societal influences we had.
The hardest part for me in hearing God's voice is slowing my busyness down in order to tune into the Holy Spirit which resides in my spirit. I am definetly a Martha who longs to be a Mary! Currently, I am trying to meditate on God's word, rather than do a Bible Study or just read the scriptures. I am going through the Gospel of Mark, because normally I would gravitate towards the Gospel of John. I am reading one chapter at a time. As I am reading, I am asking God to highlight the passage He wants me to focus on. Then after I know the context of the passage; I meditate on it, reading it over and over, leaving time and space for God to teach me what the passage means and how it applies to my life in the present time. Then, throughout the day, I ask God to help me walk in the truth of what He has just revealed to me. Often, this mean confronting false beliefs that I hold that interfere with God's Kingdom mentality.
I will give you an example of this from one of the passages I have read lately. Mark 4: 39-41 This is a passage about the story of Jesus asleep in the boat with his disciples while a killer storm is raging.
" The disciples woke him and said to him, “Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?”
He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, “Quiet! Be still!” Then the wind died down and it was completely calm.
He said to his disciples, “Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?”
They were terrified and asked each other, “Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!”
What I was struck with in this is "what is my default position when a storm hits?" The disciples default was "God, don't you care about us....." Jesus challenges this thinking, what you believe about God determines how you will handle this storm.
This is key because we all have and will continue to experience the storms of life! Being a Christian does not mean God eliminates the storms. Instead, He uses the storms to teach us about Him, about ourselves and about how to be overcomers on Planet Earth. How do I view the storms God allows in my life? What is God trying to teach me? What is he needing to transform in me? What do I believe about God in this storm? My default is "I am on my own".
Of course, God wants me to grow and mature, he doesn't do it all for me, but I am definetly not on my own. He can be my Rock and Refuge, my Deliverer, my Knight in Shining Armour. Do I really believe I am His Beloved? This is one of the ways God is transforming me, by changing on a deep level my faulty belief system! The more I understand the truth about Him and his view towards me and others, the more I can weather the storms in my life! Not only weather them, but be an overcomer, not on my own but by my faith in God and His deep love for me. He is a Good Father, and He is after my healing and teaching me how to live life abundantly.
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Blessed are the Poor in Spirit
This is a great article that goes deeper into what Jesus meant by poor in spirit. It is worth reading!
http://sethearl.wordpress.com/2006/09/18/blessed-are-the-poor-in-spirit-–-finding-life-through-honoring-god-as-our-creator/
http://sethearl.wordpress.com/2006/09/18/blessed-are-the-poor-in-spirit-–-finding-life-through-honoring-god-as-our-creator/
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Saturday, April 25, 2009
Longing
I have climbed the highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you....Only to be with you
I have run... I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls...these city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
I have kissed honey lips....Felt the healing fingertips
It burned like fire....This burning desire
I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night...I was cold as a stone
But I still haven't found....What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
I believe in the Kingdom Come
Then all the colors will bleed into one.....bleed into one
But yes I'm still running.
You broke the bonds
And you loosened the chains
Carried the cross
And my shame...And my shame
You know I believed it
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
I have climbed the highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you...Only to be with you
I have run... I have crawled...
I have scaled these city walls...these city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found....What I'm looking for
The two songs I put in this blog, I think captures the very heart of each of our journey in finding meaning and purpose in our lives. The U2 song speaks to our longing.... We are meant for something deeper, that we are searching for something so much it makes our hearts ache. The second song by Leeland reflects that deeper something that can be discovered and experienced - having a love relationship with God. I have been a Christian for 32 years, and continue to feel that longing for deeper love. This longing and yearning has led me to a deeper intimacy with God. .....
I can't stop,
I can't stop falling in love with You
I can't stop, I can't stop falling in love with You
Your love is in my heart tonight (yes, I know)
I can't stop, I can't stop falling in love with You
I'm in love with You
In this space and time ...You touch my soul
I can't escape Your love for me
So You take control ....Your spirit surrounds me
Close enough to catch me when I fall
I can't escape Your love for me
I surrender all
You've risen like the sun ...Darkness fades with the dawn
You are the radiant one... And You give me light
Your love is in my heart tonight
Your love is in my heart tonight
I can't stop, I can't stop falling in love with You
I can't stop, I can't stop falling in love with You
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you....Only to be with you
I have run... I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls...these city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
I have kissed honey lips....Felt the healing fingertips
It burned like fire....This burning desire
I have spoke with the tongue of angels
I have held the hand of a devil
It was warm in the night...I was cold as a stone
But I still haven't found....What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
I believe in the Kingdom Come
Then all the colors will bleed into one.....bleed into one
But yes I'm still running.
You broke the bonds
And you loosened the chains
Carried the cross
And my shame...And my shame
You know I believed it
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
I have climbed the highest mountains
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you...Only to be with you
I have run... I have crawled...
I have scaled these city walls...these city walls
Only to be with you
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found...What I'm looking for
But I still haven't found....What I'm looking for
Song by U2, "I Still haven't found What I'm looking for"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r07tUdgzCbk
The two songs I put in this blog, I think captures the very heart of each of our journey in finding meaning and purpose in our lives. The U2 song speaks to our longing.... We are meant for something deeper, that we are searching for something so much it makes our hearts ache. The second song by Leeland reflects that deeper something that can be discovered and experienced - having a love relationship with God. I have been a Christian for 32 years, and continue to feel that longing for deeper love. This longing and yearning has led me to a deeper intimacy with God. .....
To fall hopelessly, madly in love with God and experience that He is hopelessly and madly in love with each one of us.
It's getting hard to stand.... But I don't want to leave
Your beauty stands out... Like a bright light shining through the clouds
It's overwhelming just to be with You now...
I can't stop,
I can't stop falling in love with You
I can't stop, I can't stop falling in love with You
Your love is in my heart tonight (yes, I know)
I can't stop, I can't stop falling in love with You
I'm in love with You
In this space and time ...You touch my soul
I can't escape Your love for me
So You take control ....Your spirit surrounds me
Close enough to catch me when I fall
I can't escape Your love for me
I surrender all
You've risen like the sun ...Darkness fades with the dawn
You are the radiant one... And You give me light
Your love is in my heart tonight
Your love is in my heart tonight
I can't stop, I can't stop falling in love with You
I can't stop, I can't stop falling in love with You
Song by Leeland, "Can't Stop"
Saturday, February 7, 2009
“Should Christians Seek Professional Counseling?”
This was written by Blaine Carman, M.A., Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who is a part of our team at Four Streams Christian Counseling.
We are living in challenging times with a great deal of uncertainty. This uncertainty can breed anxiety, resulting in behavior which is both self-destructive and harmful to our relationships. Within a marriage, it may cause couples to experience distance from one another and to have conflicts they cannot seem to understand or resolve.
Our faith in God is sometimes tested during these times. Sometimes it’s hard to discern God’s will for us during times of crisis or challenges in specific areas of our lives, such as our jobs, relationships, or our financial situation. Or sometimes we may even have a sense of what Jesus would like us to do in a particular situation, but we have a hard time actually carrying it out.
The Bible gives us the blueprint for life. At times, though, we struggle with how to apply the blueprint because of habits and patterns from our past that still drive our behavior. Even though we have new life in Christ, we can still have habits of communicating or acting toward others in ways which are not very Christ-like, resulting in painful results. Since some of these habits have been learned over a lifetime, it can take a specific process to help “undo them” and allow us to truly give them to God.
This is where professional Christian counseling can help. Together, with the help of God, a professional Christian counselor can help support a person in letting go of some of those patterns so that they can more fully live the life God intended for them. Counseling can help us to better understand our unique issues and to discover solutions that lead us back to individual and family harmony and a deeper connection with God.
Do you know how many times the word “counselor” is mentioned in the Bible? More than 500 times. And Jesus himself was known as the Wonderful Counselor. The Bible teaches us to seek “wise counsel” in times of trouble. Therefore, whether you’re going through a challenging time or just feel you need an outside perspective to gain clarity about what you’re dealing with, consider consulting a professional Christian counselor. This may be a way of God reaching out to you.
We are living in challenging times with a great deal of uncertainty. This uncertainty can breed anxiety, resulting in behavior which is both self-destructive and harmful to our relationships. Within a marriage, it may cause couples to experience distance from one another and to have conflicts they cannot seem to understand or resolve.
Our faith in God is sometimes tested during these times. Sometimes it’s hard to discern God’s will for us during times of crisis or challenges in specific areas of our lives, such as our jobs, relationships, or our financial situation. Or sometimes we may even have a sense of what Jesus would like us to do in a particular situation, but we have a hard time actually carrying it out.
The Bible gives us the blueprint for life. At times, though, we struggle with how to apply the blueprint because of habits and patterns from our past that still drive our behavior. Even though we have new life in Christ, we can still have habits of communicating or acting toward others in ways which are not very Christ-like, resulting in painful results. Since some of these habits have been learned over a lifetime, it can take a specific process to help “undo them” and allow us to truly give them to God.
This is where professional Christian counseling can help. Together, with the help of God, a professional Christian counselor can help support a person in letting go of some of those patterns so that they can more fully live the life God intended for them. Counseling can help us to better understand our unique issues and to discover solutions that lead us back to individual and family harmony and a deeper connection with God.
Do you know how many times the word “counselor” is mentioned in the Bible? More than 500 times. And Jesus himself was known as the Wonderful Counselor. The Bible teaches us to seek “wise counsel” in times of trouble. Therefore, whether you’re going through a challenging time or just feel you need an outside perspective to gain clarity about what you’re dealing with, consider consulting a professional Christian counselor. This may be a way of God reaching out to you.
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